The 6 basic rules
Everyone gives to one person and receives from another
The draw doesn’t make pairs: it creates a chain of gifts. That’s why an odd number of participants works.
The draw is secret
Each person only knows who they’re buying for. Nobody knows who is buying for them.
Nobody draws themselves
With paper slips, if someone gets their own name, you start over. An online draw rules it out from the start.
A shared budget
The same for everyone, announced before the draw. It avoids awkward gaps between gifts.
An exchange date
Known by everyone from the start, so there’s time to find a gift and have it delivered.
Keep the secret to the end
Don’t tell anyone who you drew, not even your partner. The secret only comes out at the reveal, if the group plans one.
How much should you spend on Secret Santa?
The right budget is the one that works for everyone. A few guidelines, in dollars or the same in pounds or euros:
| Group | Suggested budget |
|---|---|
| Coworkers | $10 to $15 |
| Friends | $15 to $30 |
| Family | $20 to $50 |
Set a range rather than an exact amount, for example $15 to $25: everyone has some leeway without going over. In Rimbi, the organizer sets a minimum and maximum budget that everyone can see.
Run your Secret Santa with Rimbi
Name draw with exclusions, guests without the app by text or email, wish lists and group gifts. Free for up to 20 people, no ads.
Coming soon to iPhone and Android
Rules to decide before the draw
Beyond the basics, every group tweaks the game. Better to decide before the draw: changing afterwards means redoing it.
| Question | Options | Our advice |
|---|---|---|
| Can couples draw each other? | Yes, or an exclusion | An exclusion: the surprise is bigger |
| Are two-way draws allowed? | Yes or no | No, from four participants |
| Can you get the same person as last year? | Yes or no | No: everyone discovers someone new |
| How many people does each person buy for? | One, two or three | One, except in a very small group |
| Do you reveal who had whom? | Never, each person’s Santa, or the whole chain | Everyone finds out who their Secret Santa was |
| Is a wish list expected? | Optional or asked of everyone | Asked: gifts hit the mark more often |
Secret Santa variations
- Kris Kringle: another name for the same game, used in Ireland and Australia among others.
- Themed gifts: a book, something handmade, something red… A theme makes the search more fun.
- Tiny budget: $5, or something secondhand. Great at the office or among students.
- Several gifts each: in a small group, everyone buys for two or three people.
- All year round: the same format works for a birthday, a farewell party or a housewarming.
Not to be confused with White Elephant, or Yankee swap: everyone brings an anonymous gift and can steal someone else’s. There’s no name draw and no set recipient.
Secret Santa etiquette
- Stick to the budget: not much more, not much less.
- Check the wish list of the person you’re buying for, if they have one.
- Don’t reveal your draw, even to ask for advice.
- If you have to drop out, tell the organizer as soon as possible.
- Say thank you, even if the gift isn’t your thing.
Frequently asked questions
Should you tell people who you drew?
No, that’s the whole point: you keep your draw secret until the exchange, and even afterwards if the group doesn’t plan a reveal.
Can you go over the budget?
Better not: a much more expensive gift makes the others uncomfortable. If you want to do more, add something that costs nothing, like a note or something handmade.
What if you draw someone you barely know?
Check their wish list, ask their friends discreetly, or ask them a question through an anonymous message. A gift that can be shared or eaten usually goes down well.
Are Secret Santa and Kris Kringle the same thing?
Yes. Secret Santa and Kris Kringle name the same game: you secretly draw the name of the person you’ll buy a gift for. In French, it’s also called Père Noël secret, or pige de Noël in Quebec.
Should you reveal who gave what at the end?
The group decides, before the draw. Guessing while the gifts are opened, then revealing, is often part of the fun. In Rimbi, the organizer chooses in advance: everyone finds out who their Secret Santa was, or the whole chain is shown.